i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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