there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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