I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
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I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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