im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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