In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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