Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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