i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize