Im at strip club and am horny
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize