I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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