dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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