While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize