My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize