I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
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it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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