So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This house was built for laser tag.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize