upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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