So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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