smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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