I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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