the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize