I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize