Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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