dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize