her vagine was all disorganized.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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