I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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