I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
