That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
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This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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