SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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