I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize