so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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