Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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