Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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