Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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