No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize