Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
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That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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