i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize