I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize