the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize