im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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