I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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