I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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