he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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