Are we in a gay sports bar?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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