She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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