I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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