Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize