at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
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I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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