is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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