Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize