I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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