Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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