He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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